Building Parent Confidence: 3 Tips for Tackling Your First IEP Team Meeting
So why is it so hard to advocate for your young child, especially when it comes to IEP Team Meetings?
Why is it so heart wrenching for you, the parent, to face a meeting with the school? Maybe it is confusing, overwhelming, or you have feelings of apprehension, anger, fear, guilt or inadequacy?
Let’s face it; the whole process is daunting. This is normal! Especially so with your first IEP Team Meeting.
With a few simple tips, you can go into the meeting with more knowledge and confidence about your rightful place on the team.
Tip #1
Did you know that you are part of your young child’s team to represent them?
Most importantly, you, the parent, are a vital member. Under the federal law IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) 2004, parents have a seat at the table, including input in the process of creating your child’s Individualized Educational Plan.
You are the one who celebrates even the smallest successes, feeds and clothes them, wipes away their tears and hugs them tight. You are the one lying awake at night thinking about your child’s future, how it will look, dreaming about exciting possibilities, and possibly even mourning what could have been. You have wiped noses, bandaged skinned knees, tucked into bed, and sung songs, all with unconditional love.
And to be honest, at the end of the day, even the best and most caring of teachers still sends your child home to you.
Your voice is critical! As a member of the team you bring a knowledge of your child that no one else has. You are the most invested in your child’s outcome because, both literally and figuratively, you know your child best.
Tip #2
You need to figure out what is in your way, and focus on what is most important for your child today, tomorrow, throughout the next 3 years, and 20 years from now.
It could be that you have already been disenchanted with your child’s teacher or program. Heck, you know your child is struggling, but you don’t know how you can help. You may have already tried to help the teacher and feel frustrated that things aren’t getting fixed. Maybe you don’t agree with the teacher, causing tension or mistrust.
Perhaps there is past negative family history in the school, school system, or even the town. Bad experiences in your school years for any number of reasons can cause fear, anxiety, or distrust, leading to a variety of uncomfortable and/or fearful feelings. It is not uncommon to feel intimidated by, afraid of, or distrusting of school professionals and authority figures.
Maybe your family is just hanging on- you are working possibly more than one job and dealing with other demanding family issues. You could identify as a single parent, and act as the sole provider and nurturer.
There may be unexpected subtle and not so subtle cultural differences- maybe partnering with the school is not something you would do. School is operated by professionals/authority and home is for the family. You were raised that it is correct to let the professionals do their thing without interference. Culturally, your family life is private and you don’t want to share that information. Maybe it is even more difficult to understand the special education process as English is your 2nd or even 3rd language.
You must figure out a way to own it. Face these feelings, although daunting, and focus on what your child needs to move forward. When it’s time for the meeting, bring along someone who supports you, who has your child’s and your best interests at heart. They will help to keep you focused and add another set of ears to the meeting.
Tip #3
Include your voice in writing as you advocate for your child. What do you want the Team to know??
To do this, make sure that you submit and have with you a few sentences about your child that will be recorded in the educational document (IEP) that you and the team are preparing.
You may (or may not) already know that there is a section in the IEP where you can describe what you see as positive traits and strong skills, likes, favorite activities, toys, foods, as well as positive modes of interacting and routines for your child. You can also voice your concerns about your child and school, including safety, transportation, friends, or larger concerns regarding your child’s services or placement. This could include any troubles and/or concerns you may be having at home with your child.
Lastly, here is a good place to share hopes and dreams for your child. Where do you want to see your child in the coming year, 3 years from now, and beyond? When children are older and can articulate their goals for themselves, it is important for them to be included in the meeting in some fashion.
It is normal to feel confused or overwhelmed by the Special Education Process. It is complicated by all sorts of rules; unfamiliar language, vocabulary, and terms; and unrecognizable subject matter.
However, you can walk into or log onto your child’s meeting with some new found confidence. You belong and have a voice that best represents your child outside of school. You play a truly important role in the decision making process.
Always remember that being your child’s parent is your superpower!
